unverified personal gnosis Archives

Getting Bitch-Slapped by the Gods

October 29, 2016 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 0 Comment

Folks, I’m dreadfully sorry I didn’t put anything up last weekend, but I was busy hunting and filling my freezer. I still have a lot of hunting to do, so the posts may become sporadic. I may ask a few folks for some guest posts, but have no fear, I’m still around, you lucky bastards. Here’s the post I’ve been working on this week.

Getting bitch-slapped by the gods. If that’s happened to you, you’ll know whence I speak. If you haven’t and are a heathen, chances are you won’t. And count yourself lucky. It’s a most disturbing set of circumstances that cause you to go stumbling into heathenry without much of a guidepost.

Let me explain.

You have Tyr and Thor to thank (or curse) for me being a constant pain in your backside. You see, being an agnostic/near atheist was pretty much my calling until that pair made a plan and pretty much grabbed me. Tyr decided I was worth meddling with, so between the both of them, I got dragged into heathenry. Another author talks about it, and I highly recommend the reading, but I figure I’ll give my own take on it.

When a God Grabs You by the Scruff of the Neck

Oddly enough, having a god grab you by the scruff of the neck is actually not that unusual in heathenry. I say this from personal experience, and experience that I hear from others. Most of us (I can’t say all…) are relatively sane human beings who have more or less normal lives, and many of us weren’t looking in the direction we got thrown into. That being said, we’re left in a state of flux. Meeting a deity of any sort is an amazing experience. I would even go so far as to say it is life changing. Some of us — myself, included — get the message in a form that we can accept. Others get the Monty Python and the Holy Grail treatment.

The first thing that usually happens when we have that kind of experience is that we think we’ve lost our minds. I can’t speak for any of you, but I figure that I’m more or less sane. More or less. I believe in science and the scientific method, and I’m pretty convinced that the Christian god does not exist. I don’t believe in magic, but I do think there may be some weird quantum stuff going on that we can’t explain. I question whether the gods exist, but they remind me enough that they’re around. I’m probably the one of the few heathens who is cynical about ghosts and wights. I won’t rule out the possibility, having seen animal ghosts, and having had some weird wight-type issues, but I’d say it’s safer to say that if you tell me about the wights and ghosts, I’ll be open-minded, but I weigh it heavily with cynicism.

When Tyr claimed me, I was stunned. I’m not exactly the most perfect when it comes to accepting rules. If fact, you might just find me a bit of a rebel. But who knows what the gods think when they look at someone? If you’ve had the experience of a god laying claim, you’re likely to feel confused and out of your element. Hels bells, you may not even know Asatru and heathenism well and have stumbled onto this blog. My first recommendation before you claim it’s this god or that goddess is to try to sort out who bitch-slapped you. For this, you may need to talk to someone who has experience with this. Normally a gythia (priestess) or godhi (priest).

Note: a lot of people claim they’re a gythia or godhi without a shred of evidence, so get recommendations before talking to one. There are plenty of Asatru groups online — I like American Asatru Association, but you can talk to other groups.

Who Bitch-Slapped Me?

Now, this may be a surprise, but your experience doesn’t mean you were in contact with the god or goddess you think you may have been in contact with. At some point, you need to find out who it was. Just because the god says he’s Thor, doesn’t mean he’s Thor. It could be Loki, it could be Odin, it could be a god or goddess from another pantheon, or it might be a spirit of some variety. Yep, there are plenty of wights that I’m agnostic about whom I’ve heard others claim muddy the waters when it comes to deities and impersonations. Sometimes it works in your favor; sometimes it doesn’t. For decades, Tyr actually showed himself in my dreams as a Christian saint when I was Catholic. It was easier to deal with them in a Christian sense, than a polytheistic sense.

When I got the wake up call, I recognized the god immediately as the saint I had dreamed about in the past. And I got it. I recognized Tyr. Tyr has a feeling that a gythia I know was able to confirm. She was also able to confirm aspects of the god. So, there I was, still feeling in shock, knowing that I had a god I had to deal with.

Now, not all wake up calls are done positively, nor are the gods involved. I know of one instance with another person where Loki was impersonated. I won’t go through the details, but suffice to say, it was not pretty. I suspect that there are a number of issues still with that spirit, but seeing as I am not a gythia, nor do I have the ability to meddle, I’m just an observer.

That being said, if a god claims you, he or she is unlikely to have you do something against the law or against your principles and morals. If he or she does, then either it is not that god (mental illness, or maybe a malevolent spirit), or it’s a god you don’t want to associate with. Let me explain using the Abraham and Isaac story.

Some Gods You Don’t Want

I use the story of Abraham and Isaac to explain why you don’t want a god that requires you to act
against your principles. If you’ve been raised Christian or Jewish, chances are you know the story. For those who don’t, here’s the story: Yahweh allows Abraham’s wife to become pregnant after she hadn’t had any children. She gives birth to Isaac. Some time later while Isaac is a youngster, Yahweh decides it’s time to test out Abraham’s loyalty by telling Abraham he wants Isaac as a burnt offering. Abraham complies right up until Yahweh sends an angel to intervene and tell Abraham not to kill his son. Well, okay then. Talk about mindfuck.

I bring up this story because it’s important to understand the implications. It is a lesson to the Israelites that show that their god doesn’t want human sacrifice, just complete obedience. The fact that Yahweh is supposedly all knowing and all powerful doesn’t seem to matter here. Basically, its a cruel god getting his rocks off at the expense of some old guy and his son. While I think of the stories as a metaphor, and not actually happening, the story shows what kind of blind obedience one can have with gods if you’re not too careful. Any god who insists on “testing” you in this fashion is probably not a god you want.

What Now?

At this point, you’re probably wondering what you should do now that a god or goddess has claimed you. I would suggest getting to know that deity better, and seeing where they are aligned with you and your abilities and principles. Read what you can about them. Talk to the right folks who can help you and who are sympathetic to your experience. Those who have experienced the gods can help you through the range of emotions you’re dealing with. If you think talking to a psychologist helps, then go ahead. He or she may think your crazy, or may help you sort out those feelings and get more in touch with the god. You won’t know until you try.

There are enough of us who have had experiences with our gods who can help you. And once you start feeling comfortable again, perhaps the next experience may not be as traumatic.

The Dreaded Unverified Personal Gnosis

September 24, 2016 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 0 Comment

At some point, if we talk about our experiences in Heathenry, someone inevitably brings up Unverified Personal Gnosis. I’d actually would prefer to ignore the whole UPG side of Northern paganism, but seeing as UPG dragged me into being a heathen, I suppose I should talk about it in some rational manner. (Rational manner, Rational Heathen — get it?) So, I’m tackling the tough questions and looking hard at the section of UPG.

Warning: UPG Ahead!

“Unverified personal gnosis” are code words for interacting with the divine. It can be something as simple as idea that we get that we think is “divinely inspired,” or it can be a full-on visit by a deity. It’s “unverified” because nobody else experienced it, or we can’t hold it up to the light of science and measure it as “real.” In fact, you could take the whole lot of UPG experience and claim we’re just a bunch of crackpots who are off our meds (or smoking way too much shit), and I wouldn’t necessarily argue with you. It could be that, but some of the UPG I’ve experience was when I was stone-cold sober, and talking with gythias seem to confirm what I experienced. So, I have one of two choices to consider: I’m crazy and this is all in my head, or this could have happened and I’m mostly sane.

The problem is how do you know?

Am I Crazy, or was that Thor?

Lots of people have what could be considered UPGs when it comes to their religion. The fact that there are some 5000 religions out there, each with people (alive or deceased) claiming they’ve spoken to gods, suggest that there are plenty of people who are either delusional or who actually have gods who speak to them. And a majority of people out there tend to believe these people, whether it is Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Shintoism, or any other -ism or -ity you care to name. The simple answer is often the most likely: we’re all fucking crazy and we’re all in some sort of state of self delusion.

But look at the numbers of Christians who believe that the wine and bread becomes Christ’s body and blood through transmogrification, or believe that Christ rose from the dead. Look how many Muslims believe that the archangel Gabriel spoke to Mohammed. Look at the people in other religions who believe in ancestor worship, such as in Shintoism. Then there are plenty of pagans who have spoken with their gods. What gives?

At this point, you’re thinking I’m probably recommending that you stick with atheism and be done with it. That’s really not what I’m thinking, although atheism would probably do some folks a world of good, methinks. At one time, I would’ve told you that it was all in your head, but having experienced UPGs, I have to reconsider them from a rational point.

What Changed My Mind

A few months after Tyr approached me, I nearly died in an accident. I’ll spare you the gruesome details but suffice to say I woke up in the hospital not remembering much except a bunch of convoluted dreams. These dreams were actually reality–they happened. But they were unlike any reality that I experienced. For one thing, it took awhile for me to remember them or what may have happened. To this day, I can’t say with any certainty what did happen precisely. On the flip side, I remember some dreams better than reality — and that left me totally unnerved. It still does, and that brought into sharp focus what reality exactly is: reality is how we perceive it. Our senses and our mind can be tricked at any time, and even at the quantum level, things can get weird and be perceived one way when we observe it and another way when we do not.

What is Reality? — the 64 Million Dollar Question

I realized by this accident that we really don’t know what reality is in the true sense. We can think we imagined things that were true, and think things that are true that we have imagined. The line can get extremely blurry from time to time when people witness something, as any good cop or detective will tell you. Unless you have a camera or a trained observer, people are likely to come up with all sorts of eyewitness accounts. My question is does it make it less true because someone saw it differently? Can the camera “fix” the state like the quantum physics experiment? Probably not, but who really knows?

Our senses tell us whether things are true or not, but our senses can be deceived in all sorts of ways. Our mind can think through things logically and still be wrong because we don’t have all the facts. So, I was left feeling incredibly insecure about what everything really was.

That’s when Loki showed up.

Enter Loki, Stage Right.

Apparently I wasn’t dealing with the entire concept very well, and I wasn’t really taking care of myself. I was out of the hospital and working hard to bring in money again. (You think you’re poor? Get injured when you’re self employed.) Loki showed up at Tyr’s request and nagged me to take care of myself. At first, it was amusing. Then, it got annoying. Loki took great delight in annoying me. Then, he got bored when I started to pay attention.

Loki is truly the ADHD kid of the gods. A lot of people see him as evil, but I don’t see it quite that black and white. He’s capable of great mischief when he wants to do it, but I recognize the times when he can be a great ally. This doesn’t make me a Lokean, but it does make me somewhat more sympathetic to him than some people are.

But Back to UPG…

At one time, our religion had to have some sort of UPG or it would’ve never existed. Humans did have to communicate with our gods somehow (or made up good stories about communicating with our gods) or we wouldn’t have Heathenry or Asatru today. If we truly believe that our gods are living, then perhaps this is the way they communicate with us.

My thoughts on UPG are kind of mixed. I’ve seen some shit others have also seen that I can only attribute to a god or goddess (or weird blind luck). My thoughts are if you get UPGs, and they help you along in this world, and harm no one, then who is to say they are bad? I mean it’s one thing if a god tells you to care for yourself, and it’s another thing if you think that god tells you to harm someone. As long as they are not hurting you or someone else (or don’t tell you to do destructive things), I’m willing to consider that you’ve heard them. And if your UPG matches mine and others, I’m going to think it’s a distinct possibility.

Is Thor Stupid?

July 24, 2016 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 0 Comment

It seems to me that there are two camps when it comes to Thor: those who think he’s at least average intelligence (for a god, whatever that is), and those who think he’s maybe not as dumb as a post, but would be challenged by one occasionally. Since I picked on Thor last week, I’m going to test his good graces again and tackle his intellect.

All Brawn and No Brains

I suspect that thinking Thor is stupid is a relatively recent phenomena which has to do with our current stereotypes. Although the stereotypes are changing, the common stereotype of the muscle man is the stupid jock. I think, rightly or wrongly, that stereotype has been crafted over the years. Although science disagrees that people who are athletic are stupid, it’s still a stereotype that is perpetuated. I did a quick look on the Internet in the quest for the search of why muscular people, particularly men, are considered stupid. I found a reference on that oh-so-accurate Wikipedia (that was sarcasm, for those not paying attention), and even a blog which mentions a study on it.

My Own Experience with Jocks

Growing up, I had the joy of dealing with bullies, and dealing with kids who were naturally better at sports. I had undiagnosed asthma which precluded me from doing well in physical activities when I was younger. This was during a time when people thought asthma was “all in your head.” It took years for me to admit I have it, and now that I do, life is much, much easier. But I digress. Most of those kids were, well — not the brainiest — and those who were smart, tended to hide it for fear of being bullied. To add to the stereotype, I grew up when nerdy guys in lab coats got people to the moon.

In college, I saw kids who got scholarships and were treated like gold because they were good in sports. While not all the jocks were stupid, many were not the sharpest knives in the drawer, because they often were given a pass. I went into the sciences, geek girl that I am. So, the stupid jock was commonplace.

My junior and senior year, I worked out and trained in martial arts. So, I got to know the weightlifters. Many had been the kids everyone picked on when they were small; a good portion of them were introverts. So, they did the best thing they could think of: not become a target. Many of the people I knew in martial arts were smart. Yes, there were the average and idiots in the group as well, but most I would categorize as being clever enough.

So, why the dichotomy?

When We Moved from Agrarian to Industrial

I think that the shift in emphasis started in the 18th century, but really didn’t take hold until the 19th century and early 20th century where people started separating themselves into white collar and blue collar (note: this is not a rich versus poor argument). My parents looked down on those who didn’t have office jobs as being unable to be smart enough to attain those positions. Never mind that many of the blue collar jobs paid better than white collar jobs. I suspect that this attitude was fostered though the colleges and through those who were able to work pushing paper for a living. I suspect that the GI Bill after WWII and emphasis into getting higher degrees also pushed more people into thinking that manual labor means you can’t hack an office job.

I’ve already mentioned the moonshots, which were a result of the cold war. In fact, I suspect that the emphasis going into science and other intellectual activities caused a bigger split, suggesting that you couldn’t be both strong and smart. Sure, we had our Hollywood heroes, but they emphasized not strength, per se, but beauty. Professional athletes were always admired, but they were never considered brilliant, except when it pertained to their performance

When Physical Prowess was Admired

It used to not be that way. Prowess in sports suggested you were good on the battlefield. Being physically fit has paramount before firearms became prevalent. After all, whether you lived or died, whether your family would survive, and whether you had enough food was largely dependent on your fitness and skill as a hunter, warrior, and farmer. Firearms replaced swords, pikes, maces, and knives, and armor went away. No longer did you have to carry some 50 to 70 pounds of armor and weaponry. While there were wars, most problems were resolved in torte.

Brains and brawn weren’t considered mutually exclusive. Many warriors were considered clever and intelligent.

So, What About Thor?

I feel that Thor has gotten a bad rap, not because he’s stupid, but because he has likable characteristics that make him more…well, human. Somehow he loses Mjolnir, and has to go in drag to get it back. He journeys with Loki to Jotunheim and yes, he is tricked by the Jotun’s magic, but then so is Loki. Then, there’s the story how Thor tricks a dwarf who is about to marry his daughter in the Alvissmal where the gods promised Thor’s daughter while he was away. Tricking a dwarf to stay above ground after sunrise (and thus turned to stone) doesn’t suggest a stupid god.

My UPG Take on Thor

I am not an expert when it comes to Thor, but what little dealings I’ve had with him shows me a strong and compassionate champion. Yes, he has a temper; yes, he is not beyond using his strength. But I have noticed that he is more likely to forgive if someone makes an error like Thjálfi did in breaking the bone of his goat and sucking out the marrow. As one of the gods who favors humanity, I can think of no better champion.

I don’t think Thor is stupid. I think that because his strength is so great, we sometimes don’t take into account that Thor is smart too. After all, he’s the son of Odin and Jord. Would Odin have a stupid kid? I don’t think so.

Some Things to Think About Before Dedicating Oneself to a God

April 2, 2016 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 1 comment

I ran into this post on Happily Heathen about dedicating oneself to a god or goddess. It left me

feeling a bit hinky, but I understand why someone would want to dedicate themselves to a god or goddess. I won’t lie when I say that I’m dedicated to Tyr, but it’s not the same type of dedication I’ve seen with other people. Or maybe it is, I just don’t look at it the same way.

My Experience with the Gods or Your Mileage May Vary

I’m taking a big breath as I write this as I try to put into words what kind of relationship I have with the god. There was no contract and no ceremony. I guess seeing the Deity Dedication Contract on that page on Happily Heathen made me concerned. You see, Tyr is all about oaths and contracts. You fuck it up and you’re screwed in a big way. He gets that we as humans make mistakes, but formalizing an oath is even stricter than a marriage vow. You can get a divorce from a marriage vow, and it may be messy or in some warped cases, even deadly. You fuck up with a god, and you’re screwed. Big time.

Oath Takers and Oath Breakers

It has to do with oaths. Oathbreakers are considered the lowest of the low in ancient Norse culture, which I imagine we got from our gods. Those who break oaths — even gods like Tyr — pay heavy prices. This is why I look on oaths very solemnly.

Whether you believe in Nastrond, where Nidhoggr chews on oathbreakers, adulterers, and murderers, is immaterial. The Eddas have a type of morality play where oathbreakers are indeed punished through fate or karma. To make an oath to a god is a very serious obligation and any promises you make to them, you need to keep. These aren’t the Christian god who probably would forgive you if you promised something under duress. No, these are our primal gods who will take your promise seriously.

This is why as a person who follows Tyr, I am cautious about any oaths, or even everyday agreeing to things. This shit takes control real fast and you’ll soon find yourself overextended and over-pledged. And taking oaths you can’t keep.

That being said, it’s good to understand the limits of what you’ll allow versus what you won’t if you dedicate yourself to a god. Some gods are more respectful of limits than others. Others will ride roughshod over you, even if you say no. Just because you say you don’t want X doesn’t mean they’ll respect it. I know there are other bloggers who will say so-and-so will respect any boundaries you set. Some gods/goddesses will. Others won’t.

These are gods, and they are not your whiny-ass bitches. (Whoa! Where did that come from? Did I just hear someone say that to me?) Harsh, but very, very true. You are dealing with something far more powerful, and more elemental in this Universe than you’ve ever imagined. Don’t pretend there’s a safe word that will make everything all right.

A Great Big Bull’s-Eye

Once you’re of interest to one god, it’s like grabbing the attention of the entire family, so to speak. When Tyr and Thor entered my life, I didn’t expect attention from Loki, Odin, Freyja, or Freyr, but I’ve got it. It’s weird to have an occasional god pop in and see what I’m up to. Why do they do that? Who in the Hel knows?

It can be annoying at times, and even disconcerting because, let’s face it, I’m a skeptic, and in fact, I’m still trying to keep the agnostic part. But it’s hard to remain agnostic when the gods decide you’re worth paying attention to, for whatever fucking reason. It’s weird, really. I understand why, but it still surprises me that I’d attract attention.

No Skinriding, Please

I’ve heard the term skinriding as a type of possession some folks go through. It’s a weird experience

where you lose control as the god or goddess takes over. This can happen when bears and wolves take over warriors as well, called beserkers and ulfhednar. I’m not even sure I believe in it. That being said, there was a time when someone asked me for advice, and I swear Tyr was talking through me. I don’t now remember what I said exactly, but I do remember the feeling. It was exhilarating and at the same time, disconcerting. What he said I basically agreed with, but seriously?

I think it really depends on you and your personality and how it meshes with the god/goddess. For all I know, we all might be suffering from multiple personality disorders, which makes us in serious need of therapy. If there’s one thing that will have me check myself into the loony bin, it’ll be not being in control of myself. So, absolutely no skinriding. I know Tyr knows my rules and is okay with it.

If you go down the path of skinriding, be sure you can handle it. And be sure it’s a god whom you trust.

So, Should You Dedicate Yourself to a God?

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? I don’t have an answer for you on that. Only you and your god(s) can tell you what is right for you. All I can do is provide advice when it comes to what to think about. You want to make oaths? That’s your call. You want to allow possession? Again, that’s your call. You want to formalize your oath with a contract? Okey dokey.

Maybe I might be closer to Tyr if I did do those things, but that’s really not my nature, and he understands. I don’t think I’d be any closer to him. The fact that I’m even writing about this is a stretch for me because I don’t like to really blab about these things in real life. I’d keep it to myself in most cases, but I’ve heard from others who seem to confirm what I know from my interactions with the god. These folk have encouraged me to write about it. So, here it is.

If you are lucky (or unlucky) enough to draw a god’s attention, chances are you know what I’m talking about. And maybe if you find yourself in this position, my words might actually make sense. Do what you think is right, but also be cautious. Don’t agree to things you might regret later. And once you do go down that rabbit hole, there’s no turning back.

“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.” — Morpheus, The Matrix

Ragnarok — Real or a Christian Fable?

March 5, 2016 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 1 comment

I thought since I made the comment about Ragnarok, I should probably delve into the story of Ragnarok. As a rational heathen, I thought Ragnarok was a load of crap added by Christianity to provide a “changing of the guard” from pagan to Christian. After all, it’s easier to worship the white Christ if your gods are dead. Naturally, Tyr had something to say about that.

What is the Twilight of the Gods?

But before I get into that, let’s look at Ragnarok in brief. Ragnarok, or the Twilight of the Gods, speaks of an apocalyptic scenario where the Aesir and Vanir go to the final battle against the forces of chaos. We will suffer three winters in a row without summer called Fimbulvetr, Sunna and Mani (the sun and moon) will be swallowed by the wolves that follow them, the stars will disappear, and the earth will shake. The gods along with warriors from Asgard, and I presume from any hall in Asgard, will fight the Jotun and Loki’s children in one last battle. Odin dies, Thor dies, Tyr dies, Freyr dies; everyone gets wiped out except Víðarr, Váli, Móði and Magni. The fire giants set the nine worlds ablaze. Two humans, Líf and Lífþrasir, will survive somehow encased in Yggdrasil. Beyond that, we’re left to start again.

Some of the things that struck me with this apocalypse is the relative similarity to Revelations and other apocryphal texts (see what I did there?). It’s so close to the Christian teachings that I was sure it was just something borrowed. That was before I had the UPG.

Ragnarok, Seriously?

Yeah, Tyr actually interjected into my meditation and told me Ragnarok will happen. Seriously, bro? You mean Fenrir is eating Odin and everything? Yep. But the story as written is tainted with Christian and metaphorical trappings. Ragnarok is a cycle and not just the end of the world. For those who have proposed this or been inspired through UPGs to propose this, you’ll be glad to hear I actually concur with you. Ragnarok has happened and will happen again. Same players throughout time. It’s how the Wyrd spins the universe. Our universe is part of the multiverse and the final fight comes down to the destruction of Midgard, whether it is Earth or the universe we inhabit. Is Sutri’s fire from the sun as it expands? Or is it a tear in the fabric of the universe that causes other universes to leak into ours? I have no clue. But I do understand that it is a metaphor for things to come. Or things that have come before.

When is Ragnarok?

Then, there’s the question of actually when is Ragnarok? The stories I’ve read seem to imply that it has already occurred. If it has, it has happened in the ancient past, and I’m not talking millions, but billions of years ago. Try before our universe came into existence some 13.82 billion years ago. Give or take a few years. Either that, or it’s the Christians trying to bring closure to our stories so that we accept that our gods are dead through Ragnarok. If it’s something in our future, then Ragnarok may also be something in our past, but I doubt strongly that any of us alive to read this blog will experience it within our current lifetimes. If for some weird reason that does happen while you’re reading this post, well, good luck. I am probably long dead by then. Unless there’s some sort of bizarre timey wimey stuff going on that my feeble brain isn’t getting right now because I haven’t had my tea yet. Then again, the theory about a block universe may be right, time is an illusion, and everything exists somewhere in spacetime.

The End of All Things

Those who are of the Christian and Muslim faiths believe in apocalypse, albeit with different endings. Even the origin of Ragnarok is debatable, whether it comes from beliefs of the Proto–Indo-European peoples before they finally separated and made the story their own, or whether it was somehow taken from the poem, Muspille.

My guess is that people embellish what Ragnarok looks like in order to put into understandable terms how bad this could go. Without a decent frame of reference, talking scientific theories to our ancestors would be talking gibberish. Our ancestors from ten thousand years ago were not stupid. They had the same brains we have. But they didn’t have the technology we do, nor did they have the knowledge to comprehend what we understand now. Assuming humans survive ten thousand years from now and continue to progress at the rate we are progressing, my guess is that our technology might be as baffling to us as it would be to our ancestors. Unless our ancestors were educated to how our world works most of the things we use daily would seem like magic.

End of the Universe

What does science have to say about this? Well, obviously humans have a fair number of hurdles to survive before we reach the end of the Universe, assuming it does end. Putting those aside for another blog, physicists point to the Universe doing one of four things: the Big Freeze, the Big Crunch, the Big Rip, or the Big Bounce. None of these theories are proven, but all seem to have their proponents and detractors.

The Big Freeze

The first would be that it could simply expand and continue toward its low energy state. In other words, entropy takes over and the universe cools to the point where everything is at an equilibrium because it continues its progression toward infinity. This is called “the Big Freeze” in physics, and makes Fimbulvetr look toasty warm. There is no energy to sustain life and everything goes somewhere near absolute zero. Sounds pretty bleak, doesn’t it? This assumes an infinite Universe.

The Big Crunch

Then, there’s the Big Crunch. Based on Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, the Big Crunch is the answer to the Big Bang that created our universe. It also assumes a finite Universe. If the universe reaches a critical density, gravitation attraction will pull everything back to where it started, create a massive black hole, and swallow up everything. Hence the name “Big Crunch.” But we don’t know if that will really happen because we know that the Universe is actually increasing its rate of expansion in places that are furthest from us. Hence we’re dealing with “dark energy”which is constant in our Universe. This fact leads to…

The Big Rip

The theory of the Big Rip takes the Big Freeze one step further. Dark energy is to blame for this one where the expansion continues to the point where nothing we know is recognizable. The Universe never disappears, it just becomes scattered even more than in the Big Freeze. Everything breaks down, even at the atomic level. There is no energy to hold anything together and atoms fall apart and scatter into quarks. Depending on which camp of scientists you talk to, it may or may not happen. Latest I’ve read is that in 22 billion years the Universe will undergo the Big Rip. Researchers in Vanderbilt University have pretty much said this, but given the fact that our understanding of the Universe changes with each discovery, it’s hard to decide if this is just the flavor of the day for the ending of the Universe, or whether it will stick.

At the moment, think of it as a really bad Fimbulvetr if this is a new concept for you. Everything is cold and nothing can ever be put back together. Think Humpty Dumpty.

The Big Bounce

The Big Bounce is probably the most interesting, but at this point, data doesn’t seem to support it. It’s like a Big Crunch, only with the potential of expanding outward again in another inflationary period similar to the Big Bang. The problem is that it requires dark energy to halt its repulsive effects on matter and gravity to take effect (like the Big Crunch). It goes one step further in that when the Big Crunch occurs, spacetime will warp and become chaotic near the singularity, causing an “explosion” and a creation of a new universe. Of all the theories proposed, I think it’s the closest thing to Ragnarok, but science doesn’t currently support the theory that well.

So, Where Does that Leave Us?

So, where does that leave us with Ragnarok? Fuck if I know. Seriously. I only have Tyr’s word that Ragnarok is real, but what it is, I haven’t a clue. I don’t doubt that he’s telling me the truth, but I don’t know what that truth means necessarily. Maybe it’s about the fate of the Universe. Maybe it’s the fate of the Earth. Maybe it’s not about any of it. Maybe I’m delusional and only think it might happen. Or maybe we don’t know enough through science yet.

Science, as I’ve said in earlier posts, isn’t a belief system. It deals with explaining the Universe around us. It is not dogmatic like religion. It changes as we learn new information. Religion, on the other hand, deals with faith and belief. You either think it’s right or you don’t. There aren’t any wishy-washy maybes in explanation, but explanations are often metaphorical. I’m sure you have your own beliefs about the end of the universe.

What I believe in terms of Ragnarok doesn’t change anything. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I don’t believe anything I can do will change that. And 22 billion years is an exceedingly long time to wait to find out if I’m right or wrong. Besides, the sun will consume the Earth in about 7 billion years, but we realistically only have a couple billion years to get off this rock before the sun cooks the planet. That’s assuming we don’t wipe ourselves out, an asteroid doesn’t create a mass extinction event similar to the dinosaurs, we get a lovely blast of gamma rays from a dying star, or the earth decides to shake us off with massive volcanic eruptions similar to the Siberian Traps. To quote Q from Star Trek:

“It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it’s not for the timid.”

Why Bad Things Happen: One Heathen’s Perspective

November 30, 2015 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 0 Comment

Bad things happen. When I look at things like the Paris attacks, I can’t help but wonder why. And as a former Christian turned Heathen, it’s easy for me to fall into the “why did god/the gods let this happen?” mode. The words, “shit happens” really does embody the Heathen and pagan view, so you’re probably going to get my rationale when it comes to this. Here is my perspective on why shit happens.

Christian God Versus Reality

You’ll see me talking about the Christian god quite a bit, because, quite frankly, as Americans, we deal with a Christian-pervasive society. While it is true that some folks have grown up without being in Christian family, I think most of us still have the Christian influences in our lives. Growing up in a Christian household, I was told to trust in god. That god had a plan. That god would take care of me. That everything would be okay.

If you’ve gone through some tough times, you know damn well that reality is never that cut and dry. That bad things happen to good people all the time and bad people do get away with things. Sometimes we see karma in action, but more often, we are left wondering how in the Hel we can pick up our lives and move on.

I can point to many instances of bad things happening to good people: children having cancer, tornadoes and hurricanes killing good people, and terrorist attacks. In many cases, the victims were Christians and perhaps very good people. The Christian god was asleep at the wheel on that day when bad things happened, otherwise, he wouldn’t have let it happen, assuming he was an all-powerful and benevolent deity.

Why the Gods Don’t Interfere — at Least Not Much

I personally believe that no god is truly all-powerful. Some are more powerful than others, which makes sense. But none of them are everywhere or paying attention to everything. My own patron god doesn’t always hang around my life because, quite frankly, it’s boring to him. Other gods may pop in and out as they will, but they aren’t with me all the time. Yep, sometimes I’m alone.

I went through some trying times and, quite frankly, got a little snotty with one of the gods for “abandoning” me. He showed up in a dream later and told me that he couldn’t prevent what happened. It was the Wyrd, and he thought it sucked too. But he did have some solace for me, which made me hesitate and think about the situation. In retrospect, he could’ve told me to fuck off and send me back to whatever I decided: Christian, Agnostic, or Atheist. But he didn’t. Instead, he sought to console me, which was surprising. At least to me.

Our Place in the Wyrd

Basically, we’re all stuck with our Wyrd or fate. We like to think of ourselves as masters of our destiny, but even science says that free will may be an illusion. This sucks big time. The only thing that affects the universe is our choices, and depending on what we decide, our decisions spin off another universe. That’s amazing, if it doesn’t make your head hurt. We coexist in the past, present, and future, but we can’t perceive those times because of our limited, linear thinking. Or to quote the good Doctor:

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff…”

Yeah, I just quoted Doctor Who. Get over it.

Basically, if you believe in physics and science, some things are just beyond even the gods. The Norns are possibly the only ones who handle our destinies, but even then, they just spin, measure, and cut. They don’t show us what the measure of our lives look like.

What’s more, we really don’t know what else is going on beyond our simple point of view. There may be something; there may be nothing. We just may be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What to Take Away from All This

Bad things happen. Good things happen. Not everything that happens is something we want. Sometimes it happens for a reason. More often, it happens for no particular reason other than our choices, or no choices, or a single quantum flip. Sometimes the gods can help us; other times they can’t. That’s why in the end we have to deal with all the unfair things life throws at us, as well as all the good things. When we as Heathens understand that our destiny is due to our choices combined with quantum physics, we can finally understand the nature of the universe and the gods just a little better.